A lot has changed for me within the last 5 months. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve learned. I’ve gained friends and lost a few. But the one thing that I promised myself I would do was change. Change myself to be a human being that I could be proud of. I am not proud of myself nor some of the things I’ve said and some of the things I’ve done. Today will be the day that I stick to my plan, and I make things happen. If it hurts me or not, this is life. You either swim or you drown.
…I’m actually kind of confused….
Sometimes the hardest things that are done are the things that are best for you regardless if it’s best for everyone else.
“Starts With Goodbye”
I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn’t understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you’re standing at a crossroad,
There’s a choice you gotta make.
[Chorus:]
I guess it’s gonna have to hurt,
I guess I’m gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I’ve loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it’s gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
I know there’s a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life’s so bitter sweet.
[Chorus:]
I guess it’s gonna have to hurt,
I guess I’m gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I’ve loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it’s gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.
[Chorus:]
I guess it’s gonna have to hurt,
I guess I’m gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I’ve loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it’s gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
I guess I’m gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I’ve loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Na na na na na na na.
My goals for [kirsten] 2009
- Become at peace with myself so I can be at peace with the world.
- Become a better person for myself.
- Find a new job, so I can do better at self-reliance.
- Respect my relationships I have with other people, make the ones stronger that need to be and maintain the ones that are great.
- Do more for the people that do everything for me.
- Love unconditionally, and love fairly.
- Learn to enjoy the little things, and sometimes just let the bad things go.
Those are a few things I’m going to try to do to better myself as a human being.
Quotes by Mahatma Ghandi
- Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.
- As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.
- Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
- Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
- Hate the sin, love the sinner.
- Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.
- Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
- I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life.
- I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
- I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.
- In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
- Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing something to be happy.
- It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.
- It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.
- One needs to be slow to form convictions, but once formed they must be defended against the heaviest odds.
- Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
- The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
- When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it–always.
- You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
- What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?
- Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary.
- An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
- Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right.
- I think it would be a good idea.
Today is the first day of change…
I have been thinking a lot about my next tattoo [everyone is right they are addicting]. I have decided upon a quote by Ghandi, “My life is my message”. And when I truly honestly think about it I am not leaving any message for my life. I am doing nothing, nothing at all. The more I read the more I think about Ghandi, and all the things he accomplished by being a peaceful passive human being.
So I say today, in the words of Ghandi himself “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” It is the only thing we can do. And who knows what will happen tomorrow.
I will become the person I wish to see in the world. And let go of all things in the past for they do not change what will be tomorrow.
How my year ended…
- I went to school.
- I stopped going to school.
- I had only 2 jobs this year =] [if you know me you'll understand]
- I got out of a year and 8 month relationship that was going nowhere.
- In breaking up I lost a family =[
- But I did meet the only man that has been able to keep my attention and make me chase him.
- I have fallen head over heels in love, both with my Anthony, and my animals.
- I have gotten 3 new animals.
- And last but certainly not least I started getting my life back on track. [It's so much easier when the man your with has goals in life and isn't a lazy bum
]
This year I have a feeling will be the BEST year of my life. So many goals, so many things to do, things can only get better from where I’m at.
